College so overwhelming. It’s been a month into the school year. Stacks and stacks of reading and homework. I’m stuck reading tons for biology, tons from humanities. The worst part is, I’m stuck reading holy scripture for humanities, it’s just the worst. I could really care less about the actual read but the it’s hard to grasp the confusing text. Maybe it’s just my class schedule but it’s just a bit too much. I have so much I have to do and so little time. Weekends fly by as if they don’t exist. My sleeping schedule is fucked beyond belief and I’m always tired. I really have to change things around, but as if now, I’ll just have to take it. It really just blows. I haven’t seen my girlfriend in over a month, I’ve gotten so busy sometimes I don’t even have enough time to skype with her, let alone catching up with all my friends from back home. It’s gonna take a lot to adjust to it all. I’ve adjusted to calling this place my home but it’s gonna take more than that to really love it here along with all the work. The people I’ve met are great, those are really going to be the people that’ll keep me going.
It’ll get better soon I hope.
Today I found out how insane I am. I probably will need help and I probably look like such a big hypocrite at this point. I don’t know how I’m going live with myself after doing this. I really can’t justify what I’ve done. Meh, whatever. I just need a job and maybe this’ll look okay afterwards.
In a matter of two days, everything is going to change drastically. I’m going to be moving out and basically be living on my own. After eighteen years, I’m going to be living under a roof that isn’t with my parents. It’s going to take some getting used to, some adjustments and mostly, it’s going to take new responsibilities. But that isn’t a bad thing at all, it’ll give me a chance to experience how life would be when I don’t have my parents to depend on. But hey, it’ll be an adventure, a chance to see things from a different perspective. A college life.
..as far as I’ve seen, much of today has left literature behind, in terms of reading for enjoyment. This summer I have indulged myself in quite a bit of reading. From reading old books that I’ve had for years and to reading new books that are just off the shelves of a store. Considering the reactions from the people I usually hang out with, reading is something they dread. As if it was a deadly curse was put on them when a teacher or instructor assigns a book to them, whether it’s fiction or nonfiction. I remember all the whining I’ve heard about reading when my class was assigned a book in my AP Lit or my AP Lang classes. I found many of those books fascinating, it taught me new things I never would’ve known before, with the exception of Wuthering Heights, I hated that novel with a passion so flaming it could sex the world ablaze. But the loss of interest in reading our generation faces, reminds me much of a poem I’ve read called “The World is Too Much With Us,” by William Wordsworth, where Wordsworth stresses that humankind is failing to see the wonders of nature. Which, in this case, would be, us, our generation, is failing to see the wonders of literature. Enough said though.
at this point, i’m really looking forward to college. i just want something to do during the day and i want to meet new people, build new friendships and just have a new experience. i mean i won’t be living under the same roof as my parents so that is an experience on it’s own. i just can’t wait to go.
..to think that we all need some isolation when it comes to certain times. I mean there are just moments in our lives where we all just want to be alone so we can have some space from the world. I mean, I kinda want to go to a movie by myself, in an empty theatre. Maybe then you could think out loud with no one to hear, no one to judge. Maybe express those emotions that are hidden from anyone else, those emotions that are bottled up within ourselves. The ones we are too afraid to let anyone see. We all need that privacy, that isolation. It’s just an odd idea, I guess. We’ll just leave those moments for the shower then. That’s the closest form of isolation I have that’s even close to what I’m trying to say.
..the day we’ve been waiting since the beginning of freshman year, the day that we make our thirteen years of education worthwhile, the day we move on from all the stupid classes we had to take throughout our lives. This is it, high school has been an amazing experience and the best years of my life, but it’s time to move on, onto our college lives in the fall (or some in the spring).
Personally, graduation is a time of mixed feelings. I’m happy to graduate and leave high school behind, but also sad because that’s happening. It’s a feeling of ambivalence, but hey, this really is inevitable, unless you want to do something stupid and stay in high school for an extra year (fuck no).
But congratulations to everyone graduating, we made it! After thirteen long years, we’re done with grade school! Whoo! College is around then bend so let’s fuck shit up when we get there! [:
…this fall when my first college semester begins. Many of my friendships are most likely going to fade because our common ground is going to disappear. Nothing to relate to, nothing really holding us together it’s going to be like strangers again. Seldom will we message each other on facebook because we’ll be alll doing our own thing. That’s gonna be a challenge to deal with but sadly it’s inevitable.. Its gonna be sad, I don’t want things to change but they’ll have to.